I love black thongs
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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