its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I need a burrito and a hug.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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