dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
