Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
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