She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Less talking, more tequila
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I want to be your penis for a week.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
