he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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