She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
