I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
