I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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