Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize