he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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