Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
