I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
