We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
