I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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