dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
