The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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