grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
