spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
