Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
