whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
