I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
