We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
