"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize