There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
