I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
