"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Randomize
