There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
