why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I did not marry a roomba.
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