i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
