i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
