you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
