omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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