I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
