mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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