Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
