eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
