Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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