no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
