just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
