i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
soo... how was my night?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
