Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
