But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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