My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
