Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
