It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
