i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
