Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
