i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
