you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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