So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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