he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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